[Galactic News Network]

04/08/2185
April 8th, 2010

Counter to corporate military expectations, the Hailot clan chieftain remains at large on Garvug. Though initially suspected to be among the dead in the clan fortress, Hailot Wrund successfully retreated to the countryside. In a radio broadcast, he belittled the corporatist invaders and exhorted his followers to fight them. “We are clan,” he roared. “They are merely co-workers. If we make their victory cost them enough, they will leave.” Sonax supreme commander Lira Speight later responded in a press conference: “I would like to thank Mr. Hailot for broadcasting from a radio tower so that we know exactly where he is,” she mocked. “If he thinks he will outlast us by causing financial and physical damage, he is unaware of the high value of his planet and the consortium’s long-term strategic vision.”

Tags: Garbug, Hailot clan, Hailot Wrund, Lira Speight, Sonax, Sonax Industries
Posted in Official News | 142 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/07/2185
April 6th, 2010

Garvug’s state-run forces received another blow today when newly arrived corporate armies retook the Garvug System’s comm buoys. After a tense two-hour battle, the state’s finest retreated to FTL in order to avoid total destruction. Through the comm buoys, the corporatists can direct communication to other planets that may wish to send reinforcements. Asked if they will censor the media, who have been relying on FTL ships using the mass relay to escape the system, Sonax supreme commander Lira Speight said, “Anything that gives away vital battlespace information or appears to be a coded transmission will be stopped. Aside from that, we believe in working hand-in-hand with the media to publicize what we anticipate to be a swift and relatively painless victory.”

Tags: Garvug, Lira Speight, Sonax, Sonax Industries
Posted in Official News | 158 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/06/2185
April 6th, 2010

Volus comedienne Sura Non sparked the entertainment feud of the week when her comments about the war on Garvug caught the ire of CitSpace Daily opinionator Max Power. The scampy humorist said that conquering a krogan and vorcha world “is like buying a beehive with a sign reading ‘Pre-Shaken’ and saying, ‘But darling, it’s 20% off!’” Power slammed her, saying the krogan on Garvug have been victims since the planet’s inception, and mocking their pain is tasteless. Non shot back: “If Power doesn’t understand that I was mocking the corporate monkeys who made the decision to invade, I suggest he start stretching and get a flashlight so he can try to find where his head is lodged.” Supporters of Non have taken up the fight, mailing Power over 1,500 flashlights to date.

Tags: CitSpace Daily, Garvug, Max Power, Sura Non
Posted in Official News | 247 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/05/2185
April 4th, 2010

Corporate forces on Garvug have won a major victory tonight: Sonax infantry units surrounded the Clan Hailot ancestral fortress and pounded it with rocket-propelled grenades, singularity projectors, and mass accelerator fire. In a bloody invasion that yielded twelve casualties, troops stormed the doors and took the fortress, destroying krogan resistance and replacing the clan flag with the Sonax Industries logo. There is no word yet if clan head Hailot Wrund was inside the building during the attack. Elsewhere in the city, troops had to pick their way through booby-trapped power stations, hospitals, and water purification facilities. “It’s not over yet,” said one young special forces officer, who declined to be named. “They haven’t even begun to fight.”

Tags: Clan Hailot, Garvug, Hailot Wrund, Sonax Industries
Posted in Official News | 196 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/04/2185
April 3rd, 2010

Earth’s 2185 baseball season opened today with a face off between the Detroit Tigers and the Vladivostok Bears. The Russians brought a brutal A-game and punished the Tigers 11-4. A grand slam in the second inning gave the Bears an early lead and demoralized the Tigers. “We were making fundamental mistakes out there, myself included,” said Tiger pitcher Dave Marlboro. “I threw every way I could, and they just kept popping them off. We were not playing how we were in training just three weeks ago.” The Bears go on to face the Baltimore Orioles at Camden Yards next week, while the Tigers take on the Kyoto Katanas in a home game.

Tags: Baltimore Orioles, baseball, Camden Yards, Detroit Tigers, earth, Kyoto Katanas, sports, Vladivostok Bears
Posted in Official News | 280 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/03/2185
April 3rd, 2010

Peace activists demonstrated today at the headquarters of Binary Helix, Guanghui Solutions, and Sonax Industries — the three companies forming the backbone of the corporate army on Garvug. Demanding that the corporations lift their siege of the planetary capital Dhazil, the protesters burned corporate logos in effigy and called for a galactic boycott of all three companies’ products. Meanwhile, krogan have been reacting to the war with amusement. “The corporations will win the war, no doubt,” said Urdnot Galem, clan media director on Tuchanka. “But are they dumb enough to expect peace ever again?

Tags: binary helix, Dhazil, Garvug, Guanghui Solutions, krogan, Sonax Industries, tuchanka, Urdnot Galem
Posted in Official News | 322 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/02/2185
April 1st, 2010

GBC news correspondent Robin Lasky was released today after court proceedings in the krogan republic of Ghurst. After a two-hour trial and forty minutes of deliberation, Ruzad Drau Sorze deemed that Lasky’s reporting was no threat to the state. Lasky, who attended the trial intubated with oxygen following a jailhouse assault, was in tears as her parents and producer hugged her and wheeled her out. The ruzad’s decision was reportedly influenced by a 180,000-credit “review fee” that GBC News paid to compensate the ruzad for his time, a fee that was apparently unpaid by the prosecution.

Tags: GBC News, Ghurst, Republic of Ghurst, Robin Lasky, Ruzard Drau Sorze
Posted in Official News | 232 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

04/01/2185
April 1st, 2010

DC1938, a small garden world circling the red supergiant SM2183 Rua, exploded today in a rare phenomenon called core fusion. The planet’s uranium core collapsed in on itself, igniting a thermonuclear explosion large enough to rupture the planet into several pieces. The shockwave and loss of atmosphere has reportedly killed more than five billion native inhabitants. There is one known survivor: an infant rocketed from the planet in an FTL escape pod picked up by the human cruiser MSV Kent. The inhabitants of the planet, previously unknown to the galaxy, were a spacefaring race who used crystalline matrices for their computing needs. The infant has been taken to medical facilities in the local cluster, where he is breathing gases in a ratio similar to the atmosphere of his home planet: 65% nitrogen, 20% oxygen, and 15% krypton.

Tags: DC1938, MSV Kent, SM2183 Rua
Posted in Official News | 345 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/31/2185
March 30th, 2010

With the price of eezo falling to affordable levels, the strange and dangerous sport of “densing” has caught on among young people of all species. Competitors wear mass effect field generators turned up to twice normal and attempt to shove one another out of a ring. Described as “sumo for the skinny,” the sport can easily result in strains, sprains, or broken bones when participants crash to the ground. But fine-tuning the generators allows for competitions that would never take place in a traditional gym. “I think it’s hilarious,” says 50-kilo veteran Jewel Dyson who has a 13-1-1 record. “I can throw guys two or three times my size across the room.”

Tags: biotics, densing, eezo, Jewel Dyson, mass effect field
Posted in Official News | 127 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/30/2185
March 29th, 2010

Today marks the human holiday of Passover, commemorating the liberation of slaves through the power of an omnipotent deity. Humans of the Jewish religion celebrate with a special meal of unleavened bread, wine, bitter herbs, and the meat of a young herd animal. During the meal an ancestral story is recited about the flight from their oppressors and the miracles that saved the Jewish people and gave them law. Songs, prayers, and a ritual reading of questions designed to educate the young round out the ceremony. Traditions differ on whether or not other species are allowed at the meal: one rule says the presence of non-Jews makes the meal impure, but another rule says that all who are hungry should come and eat. The second view has dominated in recent years, and small businesses have sprung up that specialize in making dextro-amino-acid-based food for turian and quarian participants.

Tags: earth, holiday, holidays, humans, Judaism, Passover, religion
Posted in Official News | 53 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/29/2185
March 29th, 2010

The day was marked by fierce fighting on the planet Garvug in the Valhallan Threshold. Comm buoys aimed at the star Paz have been taken out by state starships, cutting the system off from all outside communication. The Intergalactic Press got a news ship through the relay, bringing video from the planet’s capital Dhazil. Corporate forces fought for air and space supremacy, shooting down at least two ships but losing five of their own. Artillery pounded power stations and airfields from outside the capital, paving the way for what will no doubt be a push into the streets. “This is going to get worse before it gets better,” said a Guanghui armored unit commander. “They don’t know who they’re dealing with.”

Tags: Dhazil, Garvug, Guanghui, Paz, Valhallan Threshold
Posted in Official News | 40 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/28/2185
March 28th, 2010

Tonight: Inside the war on Garvug. A Terminus Systems world with a population of 40% krogan and 30% vorcha, Garvug has always been a rough place. But now corporate armies, many of them from companies based in Citadel space, have crossed the line. They have backed a coup of the krogan clan-based government in exchange for unfettered access to the planet. Eco-engineering firms like Binary Helix and Guanghui Solutions seek license to repair the balance of nature at any cost, while mining firms like Sonax Industries want access to state-protected iridium deposits. The aborted coup has turned into protracted fighting in the capital of Dhazil, with the state’s army slowly gaining the upper hand. As night falls and reinforcements for both sides arrive from off-planet, this is still anyone’s game.

Tags: binary helix, Dhazil, Garvug, Guanghui Solutions, krogan, Sonax Industries, Terminus Systems, vorcha
Posted in Official News | 66 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

GBC News correspondent held prisoner on Tuchanka

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03/19/2185

GBC News correspondent Robin Lasky has been arrested as part of a mass sweep by authorities in the Republic of Ghurst on the planet Tuchanka. Lasky, who was covering the rebellion within the krogan state, is being held without charge at the notorious Urlukah Federal Prison, where she may be imprisoned for life or face the death penalty. Already, an extranet petition begging for her release has gathered over 50,000 identi-tags, but experts remain skeptical. “Tuchanka prisons don’t respond well to human rights campaigns,” says Neil Ulster of Universal Reporters. “They respond to ransoms.”
03/21/2185

New footage tonight from Tuchanka shows that the prison where GBC News correspondent Robin Lasky is being held is ill-suited for human inmates. The temperature stays at 37 Celsius during the day, parasites breed in the cells, and the food is usually live. Originally detained without charge, Lasky is now accused of spying. She is reportedly bunking with two krogan females, one who brutally stabbed her mate to death and another convicted of murder and grand larceny. GBC News has requested Lasky’s immediate release, but officials say she will be part of a mass hearing in a few days.
03/26/2185

GBC News correspondent Robin Lasky attended her hearing in Ghurst today along with 40 others. The charges were read en masse, and no legal counsel was provided. However, when asked if anyone wished to speak on the accused’s behalf, a GBC News producer detailed the history of Lasky’s correspondence, saying it was balanced and often supportive of the regime. The ruzad, or judge, said her footage would be reviewed to determine her guilt or innocence. An individual trial for Lasky will be held in seven days.
04/02/2185

GBC news correspondent Robin Lasky was released today after court proceedings in the krogan republic of Ghurst. After a two-hour trial and forty minutes of deliberation, Ruzad Drau Sorze deemed that Lasky’s reporting was no threat to the state. Lasky, who attended the trial intubated with oxygen following a jailhouse assault, was in tears as her parents and producer hugged her and wheeled her out. The ruzad’s decision was reportedly influenced by a 180,000-credit “review fee” that GBC News paid to compensate the ruzad for his time, a fee that was apparently unpaid by the prosecution.

Tags: GBC, GBC News, krogan, Neil Ulster, Republic of Ghurst, Robin Lasky, Tuchanka, Universal Reporters, Urlukah Federal Prison

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[Galactic News Network]

Huerta wins Presidential legal battle
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03/04/2185

The nations of Earth are in suspense tonight as the Systems Alliance hears Ford v. Huerta, the first case of a human leader using reconstructive data storage to prolong his brain functions and stay physically capable to perform his duties. Speaker of the House Lisa Ford has led the charge against Huerta, saying that the last year of his term was illegitimate. A stroke left the President legally dead and in cryocool for an hour and a half before his brain functions were fully transferred to a computer. The amount of memory degradation was never fully revealed. According to the United North American States’ line of succession, if Huerta was considered dead, then power would transfer to the Vice President and Speaker Ford would have held the position of Vice President for the last year.
03/11/2185

Expert witnesses were introduced today in the Systems Alliance trial of Ford v. Huerta, starting with the petitioner’s side. Dr. Samuel Wachhaus testified today that President Huerta was brain-dead for too long to make a full recovery. Questioned on Huerta’s apparent cognitive health afterward, Wachhaus testified that the VI ran Huerta’s artificial memory so successfully that it took over his brain functions so that “there was no Huerta anymore. This is not a person with a VI memory, it’s a VI with a partially-organic operating system”. The respondent’s experts will begin testimony tomorrow.
03/12/2185

Expert witness Dr. Lin Shiyin testified in the Systems Alliance trial of Ford v. Huerta today. He claimed that the former president made a full recovery from a temporarily brain-dead state. Stumbling a little when grilled on Huerta’s timeline of cognition, Lin nevertheless made the case for Huerta being in full control once his motor functions and memory were assigned synthetic analogues. “To believe that he is now a different person, a synthetic, is to draw a line where no line is needed,” he argued. “A new man did not appear on the table when the first open-heart surgery was performed. His life was merely extended beyond what was thought possible at the time.”
04/15/2185

The controversial Earth court case of Ford v. Huerta came to a close today with a 5-4 decision supporting the end of the President’s term. Chief Justice Ling announced, “This is not the first time human beings have technically died only to be brought back with proper medical attention. That the window of resuscitation has lengthened is no reason to support a partisan attack on the legitimacy of the President. The legal definition of death must be expanded beyond brain death to include cellular death as well”. Following the decision, protestors erupted into violence on the Washington, D.C., Mall and in Mexico City’s Chapultepec Park. The crowds chanting “Down with the zombie!” were quickly suppressed as riot police cleared the capitols with microwaves and stunners. More protests are reportedly planned for the weekend.
04/16/2185

Late-night comedians are weighing in on Ford v. Huerta, the court case that has enough cyborgs, presidents, and controversy to be a Hollywood blockbuster in its own right. Cal DiCosimo said, “We’re supposed to care that the President was brain dead after his stroke? What I don’t get is that a room full of doctors said he had brain activity before it.” Natasha Lyons targeted the Speaker of the House, saying, “Her entire argument is that for the last year, she’s wanted to be Vice President. I’m sorry, honey, you don’t get out of working that easily.” And Manny Zupo gave his analysis: “For the last year, we’ve had a zombie cyborg president. Why does the speaker want this to end? Every twelve-year-old can now go to class and say ‘my president’s just as cool as the asari.”
04/17/2185

Mobs on Earth marched today to protest the Systems Alliance’s decision to uphold President Huerta’s term. Over 1.5 million marched in Washington, D.C., 2 million in Mexico City, and 750,000 in Ottawa, many of them wielding lit torches and pitchforks as a retro political statement. Capitol police in D.C. took the bait, clashing with protestors who threw torches into their ranks. Fifteen protestors and three police were injured. “It was rough today, but I’m not worried,” said Sergeant Hathaway of the Capitol Police. “They seem like the kind of people who bring pitchforks to a gunfight.”
04/19/2185

Earth’s politicians called for a stop to the rioting in the UNAS even as some of them praised the rebellious spirit of the protestors. Speaker of the House Lisa Ford toured the morning talk show circuit to make it clear that although she rejects the Systems Alliance decision, there seems little choice but to abide by it. “The people marching in the streets in my name are welcome to do so,” she says, “but we must categorically reject the violence that the Systems Alliance oppressors use.” Now that her day in court has come and gone, Ford admitted that there seem to be no other options.

Tags: Dr Samuel Wachhaus, Dr. Lin Shiyin, Earth Systems Alliance, Ford, Ford v. Huerta, Huerta, Lisa Ford, President Huerta, Samuel Wachhaus, Systems Alliance, United North American States

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[Galactic News Network]

Simian Fever Watch
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02/18/2185

Now that the celebrations on the planet Turvess have ended, a raloi delegation has been sent to the Citadel for a three-month stay. The delegation will be educated in intergalactic law, history, alien biology and culture, and the rudiments of mass effect physics. Due to an outbreak of the H7N7 flu virus that infected the avian raloi during the opening ceremonies on their planet, the raloi on the Citadel will wear environmental suits whenever they are in contact with an alien species.

03/07/2185

Supplies of the vaccine for simian bacterial fever have run out in many planets across the galaxy. The Citadel Committee on Disease Prevention announced this week that production of the vaccine is going slower than expected. Out of an estimated 95 billion doses scheduled to be produced by the previous month, only 70 billion were made due to manufacturing and logistical difficulties. Public health departments galaxy-wide have been flooded with calls by people asking where they can get the vaccine. The CCDP is warning citizens against going to the black market for the vaccine: most such operations are frauds.

03/13/2185

The Galactic Combat Sports League was forced to alter its title card last night after heavyweight contender Bant Cruor came down with simian bacterial fever. “Bant says he wants to fight, but he’s never been this sick in his life”, says corner man Leif Karlsson. “He’s puking out of both stomachs. If he got into the cage now, the only thing he could do is hope the smell keeps Ghuli away”. Rox Ghuli, for his part, understands. “I don’t want to defend my title against someone who’s not at their best. The fans want a fight, not a slaughter”. However, a slaughter is what they got when Randy “Giant Killer” Dozois substituted for Cruor that evening. The human didn’t stand a chance against Ghuli, getting knocked out by the 150-kilo krogan after just 41 seconds.

GBC, GBC News, krogan, Neil Ulster, Republic of Ghurst, Robin Lasky, Tuchanka, Universal Reporters, Urlukah Federal Prison

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[Galactic News Network]

03/27/2185
March 26th, 2010

Noveria Now‘s annual “50 CEOs Not to Mess With” issue hits the net today. The e-mag’s number one this year is Eldfell-Ashland Energy exec Jonah Ashland, beating Ganar Yulaz of the Blood Pack mercenary company and third-placer Killira T’Nama of Binary Helix. Says the mag: “Ganar can send goons to your door, but Ashland can set the price of helium-3. Which is more likely to pinch you, your family, your business, and your government?” Coming in last was newbie Marcus D’Angelo of Spyte Media, whose spat with Prime Minister Amul Shastri of Earth led to a deluge of mocking viral videos until Shastri cried uncle. “We’ll never look at a Hindu cow the same way again,” concludes the Now team, “and fortunately for the cows, neither will Shastri.”

Tags: Amul Shastri, binary helix, Blood Pack, Eldfell-Ashland Energy, Ganar Yulaz, jonah ashland, Killira T'Nama, Marcus D'Angelo, Noveria, Noveria Now, Spyte Media

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[Galactic News Network]

03/26/2185
March 25th, 2010

GBC News correspondent Robin Lasky attended her hearing in Ghurst today along with 40 others. The charges were read en masse, and no legal counsel was provided. However, when asked if anyone wished to speak on the accused’s behalf, a GBC News producer detailed the history of Lasky’s correspondence, saying it was balanced and often supportive of the regime. The ruzad, or judge, said her footage would be reviewed to determine her guilt or innocence. An individual trial for Lasky will be held in seven days.

Tags: GBC, GBC News, Ghurst, Lasky, Republic of Ghurst, Robin Lasky, ruzad, tuchanka
Posted in Official News | 7 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/25/2185
March 25th, 2010

A 24-year old graduate student has been killed by pod crabs on the planet Virmire, officials say. The student, Jeff Sizemore, was on Virmire to do his masters’ thesis on tide pools and was on a beach when the creatures struck. The large pod crabs feed on mollusk-like creatures and are usually considered harmless by Virmire natives. There were no warning signs of an attack. “The crabs are dumb as stumps and aren’t afraid of anything,” says Virmire resident Rhane Elaxen. “You can drive a tank through a pack of these things and they won’t react.” Members of Sizemore’s research team found his mauled body, which bore no marks of pod crab mouths. “I don’t understand,” said fellow student Gayle Schreiber. “It’s like they killed him just because he was there.”

Tags: Gayle Schreiber, Jeff Sizemore, pod crabs, Rhane Elaxen, Virmire
Posted in Official News | 53 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/24/2185
March 23rd, 2010

After a five-game suspension, turian clawball legend Neno Raxirian is back on the scene just in time for the semifinals against the Tarax Threshers. Raxirian was suspended for having a jarvus-string racquet, an illegal advantage he claimed not to know about. Coach Helven can’t wait to get the midfielder back into the mix. “He’s got some rust to shake off, but I’d rather have a rusty Neno picking up grounders and sending them downfield than anyone else. He gets the ball to the shooters, and that’s what matters.” Raxirian himself is modest about his accomplishments. “I just want to put this behind me,” he says. “I don’t like black marks on my record, and I sure don’t need any help putting that ball through against the Thresher line.”

Tags: clawball, Coach Helven, Neno Raxirian, Tarax Threshers, turian
Posted in Official News | 14 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

03/23/2185
March 23rd, 2010

Installation artist June Fasha unveiled her latest massive creation at the seasonal reopening of the Milgrom Museum of Art on planet Bekenstein. The piece, titled “Connected,” features a single beam of white light from Milgrom’s moon colony aimed straight down to the museum using carefully-placed reflectors and antiscatter algorithms to bypass atmospheric interference. Fasha’s selection as the featured artist at this event was hotly debated among art critics as she has been accused of producing ‘stunt art’ to ensure notoriety rather than artistic merit. Fasha’s patron Donovan Hock took exception to the criticism. “Art is an expression of one mind attempting to stimulate another,” Hock said. “Just because it’s big and flashy doesn’t mean it’s without value. ‘Connected’ proves that today’s artists will go to fantastic lengths, even to another planet, to find another mind. If its medium overshadows smaller pieces, well, that’s a commentary on the modern individual’s sense of insignificance on the galactic stage.”

Tags: Bekenstein, Connected, Donovan Hock, Fasha, June Fasha, Milgrom, Milgrom Museum of Art
Posted in Official News | 17 Comments »