[Galactic News Network]

08/24/2185
August 24th, 2010

The galaxy remains riveted to the ongoing saga of the AI-driven “ghost ship,” now in danger of perishing because of dwindling energy reserves. Evolutionary biologists have jumped into the fray, with one claiming the extinction of the virtual alien race is the natural order of things. “Face it,” turian scientist Elgus Paramon argued, “these aliens were clever, but they weren’t clever enough to build a better battery. Their lack of foresight is a failure to adapt to changing conditions. Their species represents an evolutionary dead-end, and their civilization should be allowed to perish.” Responding, the chief exo-biologist investigating the ship, Jordan Detweiler, said “Mr. Paramon would have us commit genocide by turning a blind eye to the situation. We can save this civilization. The power requirements to preserve their virtual word are manageable.” The matter is now being referred to the Citadel Council for further consideration.

Tags: Elgus Paramon, Ghost Ship, Jordan Detweiler

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[Galactic News Network]

08/23/2185
August 23rd, 2010

The fallout continues for beleaguered editor Carson Noble regarding comments he made during an Illium Fashion Week presentation of quarian-inspired clothing. A series of extranet vids, taken at public media events and dating back almost six years, has recently surfaced. The vids feature Noble making a variety of racially charged statements. This has prompted a call for his resignation as contributing member of the Fashion Media Collective (FMC), adding to the list of legal actions over canceled public events amidst the controversy. Lawyers for Mr. Noble have made no comment other than stating he is “on vacation with his family and cannot be reached at this time.” Noble himself has not consented to any interviews since the story broke several weeks ago.

Tags: Carson Noble, Fashion Media Collective, FMC, Illium Fashion Week

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[Galactic News Network]

08/22/2185
August 22nd, 2010

Local police on Earth have arrested plastic surgeon Erzsebet Vidmar for the gruesome murder of over thirty asari who frequented her clinic. Dubbed “Vidmar the Vampire” by the popular press, Vidmar allegedly killed her victims for their telomerase, a substance essential to slowing the aging process. Vidmar is allegedly obsessed with the asari extended lifespan and has attempted to purchase telomerase in the past as part of a plan to engineer her own tissues. Officials were quick to point out that the science behind her methods was shoddy. “You can’t just inject telomerase and expect a fountain of youth,” said Dr. Antonin Esposito, who reviewed her work for the police. “If it were that simple, Dr. Vidmar would look a lot better than she does.”

Tags: Antonin Esposito, asari, Erzsebet Vidmar, telomerase, Vidmar the Vampire

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[Galactic News Network]

08/21/2185
August 21st, 2010

Opinions were plentiful this week after MIT’s Jordan Detweiler stunned the scientific world when he revealed the existence of a virtual alien civilization residing in a derelict “ghost ship.” Niran Patalung, a Buddhist scholar at the Center for Religious Studies in Bangkok, said, “I’m struck by the parallels to ancient human beliefs in reincarnation. Clearly, life does not end for these aliens when they ‘die.’ Their souls, if you will, simply re-inhabit other virtual personalities and continue living.” Thomas Copeland, spokesman for an Earth-based atheist group, disagreed: “That’s true until you pull the plug. Then what? All these ‘souls’ just wink out, that’s what. Those who would latch onto this incident as proof of some higher level of existence are simply projecting their own wishful thinking onto digital noise.” Mr. Patalung replied: “One man’s noise is another man’s music. Perhaps in his next life, Mr. Copeland will be less tone-deaf.”

Tags: Bangkok, earth, Ghost Ship, Jordan Detweiler, Niran Patalung, Thomas Copeland

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[Galactic News Network]

08/20/2185
August 20th, 2010

In a long-awaited announcement today on Taetrus, General Partinax declared the end of major combat operations in the Diluvian Wildlands. “We are grateful to the brave men and women who got us this far,” he said, “and we now call on the people to contribute to the great task ahead.” Public works projects employing the formerly captive population in the reconstruction effort are scheduled to begin at the end of the month, an effort that is expected to dwarf the cost of combat operations. This does not, however, mean that the entire army will be pulling out — more than ninety percent of the colonialist fighting force is scheduled to remain in-country until the end of the year to provide security, while the remainder of the units will be rotated out to give troops time off.

Tags: Diluvian Wildlands, Facinus, General Partinax, Taetrus, Vallum Blast

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[Galactic News Network]

08/19/2185
August 19th, 2010

The scientific community is abuzz today after the latest report from MIT exo-biologist Jordan Detweiler was filed last night from the Antilin System, where he’s currently investigating a mysterious “ghost ship.” Claiming a breakthrough, Detweiler writes, “What I’ve discovered is nothing short of astonishing: This so-called derelict ship isn’t derelict at all. It appears that an alien race has downloaded its consciousness to a massive array of quantum computers onboard the vessel. It’s my belief these aliens now reside entirely in a virtual world and have been there for at least 8,000 years.” Detweiler estimates the population of the virtual world numbers close to one billion individuals. He explains: “The ship’s AI is something of a caretaker to these people, or even a god depending on how you look at it. More importantly, the AI is now requesting our help. It says a power failure is imminent and threatens the entire virtual civilization.”

Tags: AI, Antilin System, artifical intelligence, Ghost Ship, Jordan Detweiler, virtual intelligence
Posted in Official News | 75 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/18/2185
August 17th, 2010

In a galactic exclusive, GBC News has acquired a copy of the suicide note of General Noah Vardos, who died earlier this week from what is now believed to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The three-page note jumped from topic to topic with the general blaming himself for pursuing but not catching three krogan who escaped off-planet and who are now believed to have perpetrated the warp bomb attack on Sonax command. Vardos described the worsening situation on the planet as a “Charlie Foxtrot,” and took responsibility for the men and women he had “gotten killed for half a credit a share.” Sonax Industries has not commented on the suicide note.

Tags: Garvug, GBC News, Noah Vardos, Sonax Industries

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[Galactic News Network]

08/17/2185
August 17th, 2010

New information in the death of Brigadier General Noah Vardos has raised more questions than answers. Colonel Richard Hawke, overseeing security at the Hanarsh base where the general died from a gunshot wound, said that no inquiry into security procedures is planned at this time. No suspect leads are reported, and GBC News has acquired an e-memo sent out to all senior base personnel warning of strict consequences if any personnel talked to the press.

Tags: GBC News, Hanarsh Army Base, Noah Vardos, Richard Hawke

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[Galactic News Network]

08/16/2185
August 15th, 2010

A corporatist army general is dead on Garvug tonight, and authorities consider the circumstances suspicious. Noah Vardos, a 61-year-old brigadier general, died of a gunshot wound to the head at Hanarsh Army Base in Dhazil. A base-wide alert sounded when the body was discovered but was canceled a short time later. Vardos served in the Sonax Industries army and was known to be a close friend of supreme commander Lira Speight. Speight herself answered few questions about the incident, saying only that his position will be filled by Colonel Oleg Horvat. General Vardos is survived by his three children.

Tags: Dhazil, Garvug, Hanarsh Army Base, Lira Speight, Noah Vardos, Oleg Horvat

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[Galactic News Network]

08/15/2185
August 15th, 2010

A breakthrough today in the case of the mysterious “ghost ship” in the Antilin System: Famed exo-biologist Jordan Detweiler from MIT’s Extraterrestrial Studies Group traveled to the ship, now held in quarantine. Detweiler engaged the ship’s AI system, which has been piloting the craft for an undetermined number of years and appears to be the sole sentient lifeform onboard. Given previous failed communication attempts, Detweiler explained how he succeeded: “In rudimentary terms, it was an I.Q. test. The ship’s AI was determining that we weren’t some band of dullard space pirates, that we understood things like quantum string theory, emergent systems, and a host of other advanced concepts. I was able to satisfy its demands and gain access to the interior. I need to do more analysis, but I think this is the exo-archaeological find of the century. I will say that the ship appears to be at least 8,000 years old.

Tags: Antilin System, Jordan Detweiler, MIT
Posted in Official News | 78 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/14/2185
August 14th, 2010

Tonight on “Luminary”: Homeless street rat, adventurer, mercenary, actress, head of a multi-billion-credit media giant and everything in between, Micah Envy has done it all. Known for her candid interviews, avant-garde fashion, and business brilliance, she continues to be a force of nature. Tonight she speaks out about her charity work for the planet of Belan, becoming a first-time mother at 63, and how to make a thermal clip using only an omni-tool and parts from a junked security mech. Tune in tonight for an in-depth portrait of Illium’s brightest “Luminary!”

Tags: belan, Illium, Luminary, Micah Envy

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[Galactic News Network]

08/13/2185
August 13th, 2010

Nashan Stellar Dynamics has finally unveiled the 2186 Whip, the spaceship designer’s much-anticipated first entry into the aircar market. Nashan’s press release calls the Whip, which was in development for nearly 5 years, “the most intensively designed aircar ever to hit the market.” Features include phased kinetic barriers to cushion crashes, autofoam dispensers, power lumbar support seats, a pressurized cabin, and engine sealants for amphibious travel. The sticker shock will only be the good kind: 29,599 credits will get you a fully loaded ride.

Tags: 2186 Whip, Nashan Stellar Dynamics, The Whip
Posted in Official News | 30 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/12/2185
August 12th, 2010

A high-profile spat between fashion royalty Carson Noble and darling designer Scarlet Jane resulted in a Jane no-show at the Luminary Gala held last night. Noble was caught on video by an audience member, commenting on Jane’s collection. “Since when are we getting ideas from that gypsy race? What’s next, vorcha cuisine at the buffet?” Noble denies the statement and has refused to apologize. Meanwhile, a small group of quarian protesters have picketed Friday’s event. Scarlet Jane could not be reached for comment, but her publicist released a statement noting that her client “could not attend the event in good conscience.”

Tags: Carson Noble, Luminary Gala, quarians, Scarlet Jane, vorcha

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[Galactic News Network]

08/11/2185
August 11th, 2010

Alarms rang throughout the salarian system of Antilin yesterday when an alien ship bearing a strong AI signature triggered fears of a geth attack. Renko Turwin, Director of Near-Orbital Security, explained: “When evidence of powerful AI heuristics was detected onboard, our security forces thought it was the vanguard of a geth invasion. However, we consulted quarian scientific advisors who assured us that the signals failed to match any known geth signature.” According to Turwin, the biggest surprise came next: “The ship’s intelligence then communicated with us. It asked us to calculate the value of Pi to the first quadrillion digits. Some 20 questions followed after that, all of them beyond our realm of expertise. We’re currently awaiting advice from outside consultants before proceeding. As yet, the ship matches no known alien species.”

Tags: Antilin, geth, Renko Turwin
Posted in Official News | 58 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/10/2185
August 10th, 2010

Sunset tonight marks the beginning of the human holy month of Ramadan on Earth. Until the next moon, over 2.7 billion Earth humans and 2 million in the colonies will abstain from eating, drinking, or having sexual intercourse during daylight hours. Giving to the poor or feeding them while breaking fast in the evening is encouraged, along with praying and reading from a holy book. Humans in the colonies will base their fasting timetable off of visual sighting of the largest crescent moon; planets with no moons or extreme photoperiods follow Earth’s timetable. Those who are traveling more than 64km are exempt from fasting but must make up the days later with fasting or buying the poor an evening meal — humans in non-geosynchronous orbit are considered to be traveling at all times.

Tags: earth, holidays, Ramadan
Posted in Official News | 19 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/09/2185
August 9th, 2010

Fashion Week kicked off on Illium today with a dazzling presentation by fashion icon Scarlet Jane, who wowed the crowd with a collection of intimates and casual wear influenced by quarian designs. “They are such an inspiration,” Jane said. “They can take anything and give it their own flavor. They are a culture of innovation. I love them!” Braced for record numbers, Fashion Week culminates with the Luminary Gala sponsored by the weekly “Who’s-Who” program. This year, the event will be hosted by Carson Noble, owner of the fashion magazine, “Noble.”

Tags: Carson Noble, Fashion Week, Illium, Scarlet Jane

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[Galactic News Network]

08/08/2185
August 8th, 2010

Reconstruction of the Signis, the Taetrian executive office building destroyed in the Vallum Blast, was completed today by the Hierarchy Corps of Engineers. Donations of wood, marble, and fabricator materials poured in from all over the galaxy to enable the famous building to stand again. The new building is an exact replica of the old, a move that lead engineer Naxus Ursinus said was expedient and an important political symbol. “On a practical level, we wanted to give the Primarch a place to work that wasn’t out of a hotel room somewhere,” she said, “More importantly, we are showing our enemies they have not changed us.” Asked if the new building was hardened against megaton-scale blasts, she replied, “You can’t stop an FTL craft with a stronger ceiling. Our first line of defense is the common citizens’ awareness of what their neighbors are doing.”

Tags: Hierarchy Corps of Engineers, Naxus Ursinus, Signis, Taetrus, Vallum Blast, Vamire Squaron
Posted in Official News | 22 Comments »

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[Galactic News Network]

08/07/2185
August 7th, 2010

Psyotics, the latest trend in body modification, is catching on outside the Illium club scene where it first began. This craze has adventurous revelers injecting specialized capsules under their skin that react to certain audio frequencies by lighting up. While the lights can be any color, the most common is a deep purple that mimics the glow of violet-shifted biotics. A single injection typically lasts for the evening, after which the capsules disintegrate. Dr. Frakus Mijier of the Nos Astra Medical Academy cautions party-goers on use of psyotics. “Any untested substance deposited into the bloodstream has side effects, and potentially dangerous ones,” he warns. “There is no standardization for psyotics, so those capsules you get on the street could be made out of anything.”

Tags: biotics, Dr. Frakus Mijier, Illium, Nos Astra Medical Academy, psyotics

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[Galactic News Network]

08/06/2185
August 6th, 2010

Tonight, a painful but non-literal blow was dealt to corporatist forces on Garvug: Binary Helix, one-third of the triumvirate of corporations fighting guerilla forces on that planet, is withdrawing their logistical support. “We laid out two strategies at our stockholder’s meeting, and the voting made it clear which we would pursue,” said spokesperson Othello Nash. “The time has come to end our involvement with partners that are not acting in good faith and to reinvest ourselves in more dynamic markets galaxy-wide.” Asked for comment, Sonax Industries supreme commander Lira Speight responded, “Sonax’s resolve will not waver. We are already reaping profit from this planet. If it is not coming fast enough for Binary Helix, then I’m sure Guanghui Solutions will enjoy taking their share.”

Tags: binary helix, Garvug, Guanghui Solutions, Lira Speight, Othello Nash, Sonax Industries

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[Galactic News Network]

08/05/2185
August 5th, 2010

A team of fishermen and marine biologists on the Terminus Systems moon of Arvuna have successfully captured a deinorostrum, a carnivorous sea creature some 35 meters long. With an armored head and sharp beak, the deinorostrum resembles the prehistoric dinicthys fish of Earth, but on a scale similar to blue whales. It was herded into an offshore pen using sonic projectors, which are key in keeping the creature captive as few cage materials can actually hold it. The “deino” is the largest predatory sea creature ever captured on Arvuna; it measures as the fifth largest known in the galaxy, exceeded only by the megalosteus family of creatures on Trident.

Tags: Arvuna, deinorostrum, Terminus, Terminus Systems